Chocolates

Every once in awhile (actually, more often than I will admit), I wake up in the middle of the night trying to catch my breath. I think it's the normal things that everyone dreams/worries about: money, kids, marriage, work...you get the picture. I then try to visualize a relaxing place - and more often then not, it's the beach. I then count to 10 and try to relax each muscle in my body (which, by the way, I don't remember exactly how many muscles we have even though I took anatomy and physiology a mere 2 years ago...I remember how many bones we have: 206). Anyway, my life these past few years has been turned into a whole new normal - and it isn't something I have quite figured out yet. My marriage is 20 years, my kids are growing before my eyes, and I find myself living in my 7th house. I have gone back to work full-time (which has cut back my middle of the night internet jaunts) and still can't seem to get dinner on the table. I found myself at Toys R Us the other day and started wondering when exactly is the last time I was at a Toys R Us? It had to have been in Rocky Mount before it closed. Now that the kids are getting older, I find myself thinking about all that we have grown out of. And it's not a sad thing for me...I do miss some aspects of preschool and wish that my kids taking the bus on the first day of kindergarten was the worst thing that could happen. But we are past that, and now my fear is if my son will get it together and graduate in 2 years. Or if my daughter will get really involved in school and make a good circle of friends. And then there are the "little" girls. I caught myself saying that for the millionth time last night. They are 10 and 7...still my little girls! Ahhhh...life....it really is a box of chocolates....and right now it's the kind that I take a bite out of, not necessarily my favorite, but eat anyway. Cause I need chocolate...like I need my family. It's a staple of life.